He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
