Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
