the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
