If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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