And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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