He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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