Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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