No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just want nice things and good sex
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
