You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
