I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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