guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
