Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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