Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
