Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
