i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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