Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
