I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
