I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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