Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
