She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
