i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Randomize