Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
