her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My vagina is officially offended.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
