oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
