Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
