its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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