I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
