I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
