Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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