oh god the rape fog is back!
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
