i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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