You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
