my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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