well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
