whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
So squirting runs in the family.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
