fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
