Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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