I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
