it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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