i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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