No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
