there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
