Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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