OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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