She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
