no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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