But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
