is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
