how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
did i walk over a car last night?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize