I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
